lavender

*sigh*

Grey's, my love

So I am watching Grey's Anatomy again. I'm not counting anymore, but it's probably the sixth time. And I just realized why I liked it so much and why it helped me back then, when I was a complete and utter mess. Not than I am not anymore, just not so much.

I saw myself in Meredith. I was just like her, dark and twisty, heart'broken and miserable. And everything that happened to her affected me. And that was good. Really. Because it made me forget about my own problems.

So, yeah, it's nice watching it again. It makes me see how much I've grown. Not as much as she has, if I come to think about the fifth season, but what the hell, I've just started the second season.

By the way, I am back. I think. We'll see.

Porto

So, I fell in love like a fifteen-year-old. I can´t believe this. I fell in love with a city, I fell in love with a period of my life. And I don´t want it to end. And I don´t want to go home. But I do want to go home. It doesn´t make any sense, right? Except that it does. I miss my friends and my family and things would not be the same without the people I´ve met in the last 6 months, and they are all going home, so I get it, I have to go too. It´s just that I have butterflies in my stomach and I feel like I am dumping my boyfriend with whom I am very much in love, but for some reason I can´t explain I have to leave him behind and move on.

And this is the last time am writing at this communist computer in my faculty. The last time I am drinking galão and the last time I am eating this chocolate something that I really like. And my eyes are almost popping out of my head, probably because I slept only three hours last night and I feel like I wasted that time sleeping instead of walking around the city with people I will most probably never see again. Ever.

At least now I know one thing for sure, I will certainly apply for a master degree abroad. Definitely.

Grey's again

Ca sa imi ocup timpul pana cand aflu rezultatul de la examenul minune, am devenit dependenta de cumparaturi si ma uit iar la Grey's Anatomy. Don't worry, nu e chiar atat de grav, am revazut doar seria 4. Deci nu sunt chiar atat de deprimata ca data trecuta. Plus ca nu mai am rabdare pana vineri, cand apare urmatorul episod, care se anunta a fi foarte tare.

Si deci abia am terminat seria 4. And I got all weepy, ca nu pot sa ma abtin, finalul e una din fazele mele preferate din Grey's, ever.

Damn it

Zicea odata Corina ca daca trec de anul I, nu o sa mai am ocazia de a vedea ca e mult mai mare bucuria de a lua un 5 decat un 10. Ei bine, nu mi'am ratat sansa. Pentru ca tocmai am dat cel mai groaznic examen ever, si nu e suficient ca a fost al naibii de greu, dar ne'a mai si semnat proful lucrarile. Acum, exista o sansa mica, mica de tot, sa i se faca mila de noi si sa nea un 10 (din 20) de trecere, pentru care as fi foaaaarte recunoscatoare. Dar la ce noroc am eu...

Si ce mare lucru, o restanta, poate ar zice unii, nu? Numai ca restanta aia este exact in perioada in care eu o sa fiu in Paris. Si sper sa nu fiu cazul sa ajung sa ma milogesc de prof si sa ii spun ca eu de fapt plec acasa si nu in Franta si ca trebuie sa schimbe data restantei pentru mine.

Can I cry now?

Grey's

Pentru ca nu pot sa invat inainte de un examen si pentru ca sunt agitata si nu pot sa dorm, sa citesc sau sa mananc, ma uit la cate un episod din Grey's Anatomy. Desi l'am vazut de vreo 5 ori, nu pot sa ma abtin. Ma calmeaza. Mai ales prima serie, which is my favourite of all, poate si pentru ca am vazut'o din alte motive decat pe celelalte.

See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

...pentru ca imi plac la nebunie citatele de la inceputul si finalul episoadelor.

Damage control

Ok, so I'm a little sad. Ca inainte de orice final, damage control! Pentru ca eu am prostul obicei de a ma atasa de oamenii din jurul meu si de a avea incredere in ei, iar cand ma trezesc la realitate si imi dau seama ca am fost iarasi o idioata, nu e bine deloc. And that is an understatement. Because friends can also break your heart, sometimes worse than boys.

Si stau si ma gandesc la prieteni cu care as fi vrut sa tin legatura, dar din diferite motive, am vorbit din ce in ce mai rar, apoi la persoane care m'au surpins, cu care am tinut legatura fara sa ma astept vreodata sa se intample asta. Dupa care trec la prietenii pe care mi i'am facut aici. Ceea ce e mai complicat, pentru ca habar nu am cum o sa fie lucrurile cand o sa ne intoarcem acasa, si nu vreau sa sper, ca dupa aia sa nu fiu iar dezamagita. Asa cum am stiut inainte sa vin in Porto ca unii oameni o sa isi vada de viata lor si in timp o sa uite de mine, mi'e frica sa nu fie la fel si acum, sa se intoarca la vechii lor prieteni si...gata. Desi mi'ar confirma inca o data banuiala ca sunt o mare idioata.

Asa ca, as usually, ma inchid in mine si ma prefac ca totul e ok, desi am inima cat un purice si nu pot sa ma abtin, nu pot sa nu sper.

Si ca sa termin intr'o nota vesela, La multi ani, Andre!!!